Are you worried about your teen, wondering what’s really going on for him or her?
Does it seem that you have lost joy and intimacy in your relationship with your partner?
Are frequent fights and arguments contributing to feelings of anger and hurt, causing distance between you and your loved ones?
I am committed to helping people change their lives. I offer services working with individual children, adolescents and adults, couples, families, and groups.
I specialize in two areas:
- I help parents and teens get along better, and have more intimacy and joy in their relationship. I support parents of adolescents to parent with compassion and patience, reducing arguments and distance between parents and their teens. I provide parenting support and I work with teens individually.
- I assist interracial and multicultural couples to maintain intimacy in their relationships. Working with partners together or individually, I focus on highlighting strengths and reducing stress in their relationships.
Parenting teens with greater ease is possible.
Sometimes stress gets in the way of parents relating well with their teens. Effectively communicating with them may seem just beyond reach. Do these scenarios sound familiar?
You ask about his day and he shrugs his shoulders. You ask if she has any homework and she rolls her eyes. Later, she asks you if she can go out on Friday night, but you notice that she hasn’t completed her chores all week. When you point this out, she sighs heavily and begins stomping around. You've got to finish a final draft for a work presentation, and you don't have time for this. The situation gets more heated, and one or the both of you begin to yell, and before you know it your teen is slamming her bedroom door and you're feeling frustrated and hopeless.
With so many pressures (e.g. work, finances, and health), many parents have found it difficult to bridge the gap with their teens. And despite the multiple problems that teens face, they often opt not to involve their parents, keeping key aspects of their lives private. Teens may struggle with school, with relationships, with insecurities, or with feelings of loneliness and sadness. At times, these struggles may lead to more serious problems. Often teens feel that no one understands them and parents feel at a loss as to how to help them. Despite their best efforts to address problems, families may need help navigating through these murky waters. In the midst of problems, it may seem challenging for families to find quality time together, and to relax or have fun together. The pressure, frustration and worry can feel suffocating. Breathe...
Finding ways to breathe, both literally and figuratively can be enormously helpful. Meditation, mindfulness, laughter, yoga, exercise, nature, praying, crying. It can all help. It can also help to talk with a professional.
Ask yourself what it would take to turn things around for you and your family. It is possible to have the kind of loving relationship with your teen that you have always wanted. The power of intention, commitment to see it through, and openness to learning can go a long way towards creating the relationship that you are seeking. Chances are, you have experienced some beautiful moments with your teen. I want to help you to explore how to make that way of relating more sustainable. When problems have less of a hold on you and your family, you are freed up to enjoy your time together. Perhaps you want to experience more trust with your teen. I want to know what you've tried before, what has worked and what hasn’t, and how I can help right now.
By creating an environment of respect and openness, I help families to explore ways to address challenges together, rather than getting pulled apart in the face of challenges. I help to create a space where parents and teens really hear each other, where each person feels safe to communicate his or her needs, and where family members recognize strengths in each other. I would love to have the opportunity to help you and your family.
You can experience joy and intimacy in your relationship again.
Interracial and multicultural couples deal with issues that many other couples face, as well as additional issues that come along with having different world views and perspectives based on their cultural backgrounds. These couples frequently have to navigate living in communities or families that may not fully support their relationships. Though our world is becoming more inclusive, there is still discrimination and prejudice that multicultural couples face. Has communication between you and your partner been challenging? Are you fighting about how to raise children or how much to include other family members in your decisions? It is important to remember that there are many gifts that come along with being in a multicultural relationship/ family: cultural richness, humor and beauty, to name a few. When you are able to revel in the gifts of your relationship, you can more easily experience wonder and gratitude. My aim is to remind you of the beauty of your partnership and help you tap into these gifts on a regular basis. I will guide exploratory conversations to help you access inner and outer supports for your relationship. I will also help you to put concerns into perspective, thereby reducing stress and regaining harmony in your relationship. As a partner in an interracial, multicultural relationship, I understand, firsthand, what it takes to hold on to the strengths of your intimate relationship. I know that maintaining intimacy and joy is not necessarily an easy task. Multicultural relationships need specific attention and energy, as these additional stressors threaten to create distance between you and your partner. My aim is to help you to identify shared values and goals that support your relationship. I can help you access skills to enhance your relationship with your loved one.
Please call me for a free telephone consultation concerning any of the services that I provide. Weekend appointments available.
For an appointment, contact DeVera Jackson-Garber at 510-984-6263. Office located at 2 Crow Canyon Court, Suite 200, San Ramon, CA 94583.
DeVera Jackson-Garber, LMFT 2014